My Raw Evolution
Copyright © 2004 Nora Lenz

Before going raw:
As a long-time vegan (12 years), my diet was already relatively "restricted". Food was nevertheless a huge part of my life. Preparing it was my favorite hobby and eating was my comfort, entertainment and "reward". On weekends I busied myself in the kitchen making dishes like pasta, polenta, soups, casseroles and pancakes. Weekdays I'd take my homemade lunches to work and warm them up in the office lunchroom. I didn't eat much raw food apart from nut milks, frozen smoothies and fruit as a snack between meals, but my diet was "healthy" according to the best information I had at the time. Although I didn't buy what I considered to be "junk food", I found a way to justify eating it when it was offered. On special occasions like restaurant outings, parties and office celebrations, I gave myself dietary carte blanche, within vegan limits. The rest of the time I was fairly faithful to my "healthy" vegan lifestyle. I was able to keep my weight gain to a creeping 1-2 pounds per year by teaching fitness classes 5 times per week, eating relatively low-fat and making a deal with myself that I would only eat when "hungry". I wasn't sick or very overweight when I made the decision to go raw, but I wasn't truly healthy and I certainly wasn't slim either, at 155 pounds.

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First 6 months:
Before I went raw, I'd had an almost weekly ritual on Saturday afternoons of making a big plate of angel hair pasta with my favorite homemade marinara sauce, which I followed up with a Power Bar for dessert. I have to admit, those first few raw Saturdays without these foods and the 'joy' I got from preparing them were cold and comfortless. On top of that, it was November and I remember thinking maybe it wasn't such a good time to be starting a diet composed entirely of unheated food. I didn't know much about how to make the transition process easier or more comfortable but I did have the intuitive sense to keep a couple of my cooked favorites (popcorn and baked potatoes) in reserve in case I needed them, and I did continue to indulge in them on a few occasions until about week 3 or 4.

In the beginning I ate constantly and took food with me wherever I went. I'd go shopping and spend $130 on food then find myself back at the store in 3 days. I had the irrational fear that I would run out of raw food, get desperately hungry and have nothing in the house to eat except the pasta I couldn't yet bring myself to throw out. When I wasn't shopping for food, I was either eating or planning my next meal. Psychologists would no doubt have some choice terms for my state of mind but I knew that what I was doing was going to be tough and would require a great deal of mental resolve.

My raw eating commenced each morning with a large nut-milk based frozen smoothie, and continued a couple hours later with nut and fruit puree (macadamias, strawberries and dates, blended to resemble yogurt) and fruit for dipping, then salad or fruit and nuts at lunch time, more nuts and fruit in the afternoon, and seed crackers with pate or salad with rich, nut-based dressings in the evening. Sometimes even a snack before bedtime. At this point I had no awareness that I should limit my fat intake, combine foods properly, eat less overall, not eat too late in the evening or too early in the morning. Just unbridled, unconscious, emotional (albeit RAW) eating. It was the only thing I could do to placate the feelings of deprivation that threatened to send me back to cooked food. As it was, nothing I ate completely satisfied me. I never lost the feelings of "hunger" no matter how much I ate. I was doing lots of experimenting with raw recipes, attending uncooking classes and raw potlucks, reading books, soaking up every little bit of information I could gather from more experienced raw fooders and trying hard to build a support network for my new lifestyle.

At first I felt quite unsatisfied with the taste of the food itself. I remember being depressed after my first raw potluck at the prospect of eating the kind of food that was served there for the rest of my life. I wondered why everyone had been raving about how great raw food tastes. There was a luscious-looking durian pie that I took a big piece of, thinking it would taste as good as it looked. I took a bite and only the fear of appearing rude kept me from spitting it out. I waited till nobody was in the kitchen and threw it in the trash. I realize now that the food really was good tasting, it was my taste buds that were mistaken. They had been regularly assaulted till they were numb by all the overly stimulating and concentrated cooked food I'd eaten for 44 years. Of course I didn't know that at the time. I thought what tasted good or bad to me then would always taste the same way. I had no idea how much more sensitive and appreciative of raw food our palates can become after they've had the chance to heal.

My parents and siblings all eat the standard American diet. I wanted their support and approval for what I was doing, naturally, but I knew from past experience that I wasn't likely to get it. So another thing I did during this time was to avoid seeing them. They all live a 3-hour drive from me, so it was easy for me to make excuses, although I had to bow out of some important family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. This might seem like a selfish or extreme thing to do but it was a calculated short-term strategy that I felt would serve my goals. I didn't feel or look very well in those first few months. I had limited energy and got tired very early in the evening, and I was moody and irritable. In the first few months I hadn't lost any weight and I was disappointed that I didn't have this to point to as validation for what I was doing. I didn't know how I would answer the inevitable question, "why are you doing this to yourself?" I wasn't entirely convinced that eating exclusively raw food was right, and I sure didn't know whether I would succeed or even what success would look like. I felt emotionally weak. I didn't want anybody's disapproval for what I was doing to play any part in whether it worked. I wanted to give my pursuit of health the best possible shot and it was more important to me than anything else in my life. Looking back, I know that temporarily staying away from people who might have negatively influenced me (even loved ones) was a good choice. I started seeing my family again at about 8 months in, when I felt good physically and emotionally and had sufficient confidence to defend my decision to go raw.

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6-12 months:
I was still eating pretty much constantly, and still not going anywhere without taking lots of food along. I spent weekends making seed crackers and pates, and dehydrating fruit and nuts. At times I lamented the loss of cooked food in my life. That void in me that it had filled was empty, and I felt bleak and hopeless imagining a future without pasta, bread, hot soup, and Power Bars. I recall walking by restaurants, smelling the enticing aromas, seeing the smiling people, and feeling nostalgic, "abnormal" and desolate. Part of me wished I had known what I was getting into when I went raw but the bigger part realized I probably wouldn't have done it if I had. Only the fact that I now had so much time invested kept me on track. I guess this was the reason for my delayed feelings of bereavement -- it was settling in that it just might be possible that I was never going to eat cooked food again. It seems almost funny now to look back and recall that life could seem empty because of the absence of those foods that I now correctly associate with disease and misery. I got through those low times by reminding myself that anything this difficult was bound to have enormous rewards. Those periodic feelings of loss were relatively fleeting, anyway. They were easily offset by a newfound confidence that my long-hoped-for weight loss was bringing. In addition, I already had a lot more energy and an irresistible urge to RUN, especially on sunny mornings. As it turns out November wasn't such a bad time to go raw after all, because as bikini season approached I was looking and feeling better than I had in a long while. That first raw summer I wore a swimsuit on a public beach for the first time in 7 years.

At this point I was still a bit mystified by the whole food combining issue but becoming more educated, and using fewer spices, less salt. It was around this time that I stopped using Braggs' Liquid Aminos, vinegar (although I didn't use much to begin with) and oils. I got a reminder that I was making progress when I ate some very complicated raw food at a Thanksgiving potluck and was sick for a week.

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12-24 months
Thank goodness for my best friend, Robert, raw and hygienic for 15 years, whom I met one week after going raw. He's never sick, never seems to be tired, never "cheats" and is NEVER desperate for food. He eats only in response to real hunger. Nobody seems to have this thing figured out like he does. He is a constant reminder that what I'm doing is worth every second of effort. He is also an inexhaustible source of knowledge about the healing process, which he generously shares with me. Around this time I also acquired a copy of TC Fry's original "Life Science" course. To say that it's a gold mine of information doesn't do it justice because the wisdom it imparts is much more valuable than any mere precious metal. I also had the good fortune to come upon a brilliant video-taped lecture by Loren Lockman of Tanglewood Wellness Center (www.tanglewoodwellnesscenter.com). I watched it five times and each time I learned something new. I was so impressed that I called Loren to ask him to come to Seattle and give a talk. I wanted to hear him talk in person, of course, but I also wanted the experience of meeting and observing another highly successful long-term raw fooder. Having Loren visit my home and seeing how healthy and tireless he was proved to be a profoundly valuable experience and provided further confirmation that I was on the right track in my adherence to Natural Hygiene principles.

At about 18 months I started to experiment with going longer between meals, eating one thing at a time and watching my combinations. It was all very unsatisfying -- eating one thing at a time especially. I remember wondering how people manage it. Most of the time I'd eat one thing, then a second, and even a third. It was SO hard to get used to having enough of one food around to fill up on it.

Certain foods started making me feel lethargic either within an hour or so of eating them, and/or upon waking the next day. This doesn't stop me from eating them, however. Not by a long shot. I still had a very strong emotional pull to eat dense, fatty foods like nuts, seeds and avocados, although it was during this period that I stopped making dehydrated crackers. I didn't give them up consciously, I just lost interest in them.

I water fasted once for a couple days. I felt very weak, sick and desperate for food. I broke the fast on the morning of the third day and wanted to eat everything in sight. Afterward and for the next 3-4 days, I couldn't believe how good I felt. Happy, joyful feelings bubbling up inside of me, regardless of the weather, problems, circumstances that would otherwise stress me out or cause sadness. I was astounded.

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24-30 months
I finally got into the habit of not eating after 7 p.m. but at two years in, I was hanging on to lots of other bad habits -- juicing, frozen smoothies, and nuts, of course. I was juicing kale and other deep greens because I thought this was healthy, but I started feeling nauseous when I drank it. How could something so 'good' for me make my stomach want to reject it? I decided to listen to my wise digestive organs and eventually stopped juicing altogether.

I discovered by accident once during a road trip that I enjoyed eating salad by just sitting down with a whole head of lettuce, a pint of cherry tomatoes and an avocado, all of which I would eat with my hands only. I also discovered home-dried heirloom tomatoes. New summer dinner menu: all the dried tomatoes I want, an avocado, and a head of lettuce or cucumber. Yum! Never thought I'd say "yum" to such simple and previously UNappealing fare. My palate was becoming more reliable!

I was having some tired days, some bothersome symptoms (painful periods) and weakness sometimes when I had no choice but to work out anyway (I was teaching exercise classes at the time). I was coming to appreciate, however, with Robert's help, that these are indications of healing, and signs that my body was trying to solicit even more cooperation from me. Somehow I persevered without backsliding. I think my main strength was in knowing my weaknesses. I knew that if I backslid, I wouldn't be able to convince myself not to do it again. I was still eating lots, but less complex combinations. Looking back, I'm amazed that nuts were still a daily feature of my diet at this stage. I was still unprepared to give them up, even though it was starting to become obvious that I would have to soon. I realize now that consuming so much fat slowed down the healing process and caused my body some difficulty. However, it kept me from eating cooked food, which would have been far worse, physiologically and psychologically.

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30- 36 months
I started eating lots of dried fruit. It seemed to fulfill a desire for dense food that I also got from eating nuts. I had to learn the hard way that dried fruit is okay for transitioning but should not be a long-term daily staple. The result was very uncomfortable yeast symptoms, the worst thing I'd ever felt in my life except for the menstrual cramps I'd had since going raw. I swore off dried fruit and have not eaten it again since. Eating nuts remained my personal dietary scourge and no doubt had contributed to the yeast problems. Undeterred, I discovered a blended concoction made of almonds, lemon juice, tomatoes and celery (into which I dipped celery sticks and rolled up lettuce leaves) and made it almost every night for months. I looked forward to it all day long; it was so delicious and satisfying. On the nights I didn't have that, I'd sit down with a full bag of raw pistachios from Trader Joes and a bunch of celery or lettuce. Finally in Spring of 2003, it became absolutely inescapable that I would have to start cutting back on nuts. On alternating evenings I'd eat my fill of fruit instead, which I hated. It was so unsatisfying. I looked forward to the nights when I could have nuts. However, I was appreciating that on the days after my fruit dinners I'd feel more energetic and less sluggish. Later in this time period, I got mild flu-like symptoms which required me to cut back even farther on fats. I had no choice but to go DAYS without eating them, then weeks. Eating fruit or salad without fats in the evening slowly became easier. Eventually I decided to have nuts only every couple weeks or so. I just ate lots of fresh fruit, salad without dressing, and avocados only about once a week.

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36 - 42 months
At the beginning of this period, I experienced unexpected intense cravings for cooked food. Inexplicably, after being 100% raw for 3 years, I suddenly found myself wanting the foods of my childhood - grilled cheese sandwiches, fried chicken, tacos, fried potatoes and other unhealthy fare I hadn't eaten in decades. Seeing fast food commercials on TV was torture. I felt unsatisfied with raw food and even experienced a bit of that sense of loss at the thought of living the rest of my life without the comfort foods of my youth. I didn't tell anyone except Robert what I was going through, even though it caused me some consternation. I hadn't experienced anything that strong since my first few months of being raw. Thank goodness I was able to recognize what was happening and not jump to the erroneous conclusion that my body was trying to tell me it "needed" something (which is what a lot of new raw fooders do). Within a month or so of the cravings, I started losing more weight, which was probably precipitated by my decreased nut/fat consumption. It became evident to me that the cravings had been caused by residues of my past unhealthy food choices re-entering my bloodstream on their last voyage out of my body. It was astonishing to me that those inferior tissues my body was casting off had obviously been formed from those foods for which I was experiencing cravings. I'd been carrying the residual deposits of those foods around with me my entire adult life, and now they were leaving, to be replaced by healthy tissues constructed from the superior foods I was now eating. It is one thing to read or hear about this as an abstract idea but quite another to experience it firsthand.

The cravings eventually went away and my sense of confidence in and satisfaction from raw foods returned in full. It was another test of my faith in what I was doing, and I had passed. I was amazed at the amount of weight my body had seen fit to discard at this late stage. At the end of this period I got down to my lifetime low of 108.5 pounds.

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42 - 46 months
During the past few months I have continued to refine my diet, and this is practically effortless. I last ate nuts in early May, which was 6 months ago. I marvel at the fact that I once thought I'd eat them forever, and that I would NEED them forever, and now I don't even think about eating them. For a year I've had a pound of unshelled macadamias in my refrigerator that I bought in Hawaii and even when my fridge is otherwise empty I am not tempted to eat them. This is miraculous to me. I now go weeks or months without any concentrated fats at all, and I don't miss them. Fruit is my staple. In fact, in the past few months I've had no desire for anything but fruit. The last "transitional" food to go was frozen durian - I just didn't like the way it made me feel. Fresh durian is a rare treat when it's available, and causes none of the ill effects. As of this writing, in mid-summer, I'm eating lots of cherries, blueberries, mangoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, jakfruit (another rare treat) and melons. The only greens I eat are lettuce and baby spinach, and I don't have much desire for them. Maybe once every couple weeks. I feel fabulous most days. The only time I don't feel fabulous is when I over eat, or eat too late in the evening.

I still have work to do, even though I'm eating all the right foods, mostly one at a time and combining properly when I do combine. I still eat a bit too much overall, still eat from habit and tend to overeat when I know I'm not going to be around food for awhile. I'm not eating lots compared to earlier in my transition but I know it's a bit more than my body needs for my activity level. (Yesterday, for example: 2 cantaloupes, 2 mangoes, 2 pints cherry tomatoes, 2 small cucumbers, 1 pound cherries.)

I can now go hours without even thinking about food, and without the symptoms that I used to think were hunger. Eating one thing at a time feels natural and preferable to me. The thought of combining foods is not appealing. The most complicated combination I eat now is cucumbers, lettuce or celery and tomatoes. I've developed a skill for knowing how much food I need to have on hand in order to fill up on only one thing at a time. Shopping is easy, taking food with me (when I have to) is easy. Everything is easier than I imagined it could be. I don't panic if I don't have food in the house. I can leave the house without taking food with me, even if I know I'm going to be gone for hours. Food has less of a hold on me. Eating raw is natural and normal to me. My weight is back up to 114 pounds, where it has been for the past two months. My weight is something I take note of, but it doesn't concern me anymore. I know my body is in charge of that. What sweet liberation it is to not have to worry about it.

I'm now doing no juicing, no smoothies, no recipes, virtually no nuts or seeds, no dried fruits, no frozen foods, no supplements, no superfoods, no herbs, no spices, no oils, no salt and very few greens. Primarily raw, whole, unprocessed fruit, as close to perfectly ripe as I can get it. Eating this way is not something I could have done 3 years ago, but after all these months of work -- changing my mental habits and healing my physical body -- it feels totally natural and right to me.

I continue to realize that learning how to be optimally healthy is a very long term process. I read a quote from Herbert Shelton yesterday - "It takes 10 years for a person to become a natural hygienist". Robert thinks, and I agree, that it can be done in half that time with the right kind of mindset, commitment and guidance. Without proper guidance and the understanding that comes from it, people have no choice but to experiment with the various dietary philosophies until they find what works.

My purpose in relating the details of my transition is not to show that my way is the only way, the best way, or even a good way. It's only to illustrate that new ideas, habits and ways of thinking must evolve in their own good time. No matter how successful someone may seem at being raw, everyone experiences the same obstacles and difficulties, feelings of loss, uncertainty and fear, and everyone has highs and lows during the healing process.

Anyone wanting to transition should gather lots of information and use the experiences of other people to design their own parameters. I definitely did things that I might have done differently if I'd had more information. At the same time, I wanted to give myself the best shot at long-term success so I was willing to trade expedience for permanence, which I think was a good strategy overall. And while there are uncountable variants which necessitate each of us finding our own transition plan, it is important that we all end up in the same place. In other words, the route we each take may be different but the destination is the same. It is no coincidence that the people whom I have met who are enjoying the highest levels of health share a common dietary regimen -- primarily fruit, tender greens to satisfy the desire for them, and nuts or seeds on an occasional, infrequent basis. It takes almost everyone at least a few years to get there but this seems to be what produces the best long-term results.

There is no part of my life that has not been positively impacted by my improvements in health. I'm glad I listened to my gut when it told me that what I was doing was right and would have enormous rewards. The reparation that has taken place in my body has astounded me. I have no doubt that being raw will continue to bring unimagined benefits.

Best wishes for a smooth journey to health,
Nora

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48-months

As my 4th anniversary passes as a 100% raw fooder, I continue to marvel at the miraculous improvements in my health.

With winter in full swing and all the summer fruits long gone, I have reverted a bit to some eating practices I had previously abandoned. It's a bit of an experiment and so far my body seems okay with it. I still properly combine foods, but I am not eating as simply as I had done over the summer. Breakfast is usually 6-8 oranges. Lunch is either persimmons or papayas or sometimes a smoothie consisting of bananas (unfrozen), papayas or persimmons and oranges. In the late afternoon I have more fruit, usually persimmons (Robert brought me about 100 pounds of them from California), grapes or sometimes tomatoes and cucumbers or celery. Dinner lately has consisted of a large traditional salad, with lettuce, tomatoes, celery, cucumbers and mushrooms. My taste for non-sweet fruits has returned, plus I'm desiring lettuce and celery again. I have been experimenting with fat-free dressings and have found some that are very good (orange, lemon, tomatoes, celery and cucumber is my current favorite). I've also added a bit more fat in the form of raw pine nuts on my salad a couple times a week or an avocado now and then. It has become quite easy to stop eating early in the evening. I eat my last meal at around 5:30 on most days, and don't eat again until mid morning the next day.

I'm feeling absolutely fantastic, no symptoms at all, lots of energy and a positive outlook. I've also stopped menstruating again, which I can only take as a very good sign. My weight is back up to 117 pounds after my all-time low early last summer, so my disappearing monthly hemorrhage has nothing to do with the low body weight theory.

As the seasons changed I did note some interesting experiences. One was a lighter version of the cravings I had last year. I attribute this to the fact that our bodies have to adjust to accommodate temperature changes when winter comes. With these bodily adjustments, we might experience feelings that we associate with certain foods that we've eaten in the past. The arrival of fall for the first 44 years of my life occasioned a lot of soup eating, along with hot cocoa, chili, toast, warm breads and other hot fare. My habitual response to the feelings precipitated by the change of seasons is to want those foods. Perhaps this is why I've seen fit to add more fat to my diet, and seek a bit more entertainment from my food. Hopefully with a few more years' practice, I will lose those habitual responses completely. I also experienced a rash of recurring cold sores late in the summer, which may have been caused by a combination of too much direct sunlight and overeating. Whatever the cause was, they never fully developed like they used to and they have been completely gone for 3 months now.

Click here for my 74th month update